Fondue American-style? We say "Fon-don't!"

A little while ago, we saw advertisements in the paper for the holiday concert of the Air Force band. We know the son of our former (first) pastor in Chicago (at Ebenezer), who plays saxophone in this band. So we got tickets from him to attend (we’ve learned in D.C. that you don’t have to do things the conventional way like the public does them; it’s all about using your connections to get something).

We decided to make a whole date night out of it, so we got our friend (Michelle) to babysit Lexi and went out to dinner before the concert. We tried one of D.C.’s fondue restaurants, one of our favorite meals from our time in Switzerland, obviously. How does the American version of a fondue meal at a restaurant fare? Herewith our list of rants:

• Atmosphere: Granted, this restaurant was in the basement of a building, the same place you would find your Swiss friend’s carnotzet, where you would gather for your fondue meal and wine tasting (next to the cellar). But rather than the cozy, rustic atmosphere of a Swiss lodge with stone walls, they’ve got a modern décor with lots of wood and shiny metals and lots of modern art on the walls. And part of the atmosphere (the fun) of going to a restaurant in Switzerland for fondue is that you’re hit immediately at the door by the heat, humidity and strong, pungent smell of cheese. It’s an oppressive atmosphere, yes, but that helps keep you warm on a cold Swiss day, which is when you’d be eating fondue. This place was quiet well ventilated and didn’t smell at all.
• Quantity: The recommendation from the waitress, for the “whole experience,” was to get the multiple-course meal, which started off with a cheese fondue (the only course with cheese), then went to a salad and then the “entrée,” which really was fondue with meat (cooking meat in a broth), and ended with a chocolate fondue dessert. We didn’t want to spend a lot for the entire experience (it’s quite expensive), and all a fondue meal to us is bread and a lot of cheese – that’s it! So we ordered just the salad and cheese course. The pot of cheese was slightly larger than appetizer-sized but still not generous like a real Swiss meal would be (and the Swiss would gladly bring another pot of cheese if you finished the first one).
• Ingredients: Our main cheese fondue meal included “fresh” bread and three different types of it. A “real” Swiss fondue meal is just one type of bread – cut-up baguette (or that type), and it’s usually not so fresh and soft (fondue originated with stale, dry bread, and thus the melted cheese to soften it up – it’s what the shepherds carried with them high up in the Alps). Besides bread, we also had a couple of small bowls of apple chunks and chunks of fresh vegetables (celery, carrots and cauliflower). Again, something unheard-of with a real Swiss fondue meal. Our waitress made our fondue at the table in front of us, and it took all of a minute. It was just like all American foods – instant this or that. Real Swiss fondue cheese takes a while to melt and blend slowly. Plus she added nutmeg. We had never seen this before. There was a strange blend of spices in the cheese – pepper and nutmeg – that we weren’t used to.
  

One of the few redeeming things about the meal was that we were able to get a glass of white wine from Alsace, although there weren’t many choices on the wine menu for imported wines. OK, we’ll admit that we “ruined” the fondue anyway by ordering it with a salad, which we did all the time in Geneva as well (and were called on the carpet for on a number of occasions).

But we were able to get a more authentic Swiss meal even in Nairobi, at Rudy’s, a restaurant not far from our house there. Granted, Rudy was a native Swiss (Swiss-German), and we didn’t see any native Swiss at this restaurant on Saturday. We’ll never go back to there. We felt the way they did fondue was just so wrong.