D.C.'s most bizarre "museum"

On my birthday, which was last Thursday, I took the day off, and so did Sarah. We took the girls to daycare and school as usual so we could have the day to ourselves.

One thing we had wanted to do for a while was tour the Mansion on O Street. This is another unknown D.C. landmark that we’ve discovered since living here (but for the Hovicks, not the sort of place that Ingrid would have taken you). I had heard about it through a Groupon, so, since it was cheap, we decided to try it.

It’s a bizarre place. It’s near Dupont Circle and is four or five typical, historical row houses (the type that are more than 100 years old) on a street that are connected. They say they’re a combination hotel/event venue/museum. I’d say that the entire place – every room – is also an antique store.

So you show up at your scheduled tour time (you book a time yourself and buy a ticket), and the “butler” meets you at the door, which is locked. You are checked in, given a glass of champagne, and then told you’ve got free reign of the place, only you aren’t allowed to go in any doors that are closed (that have a “Do not disturb” sign on them) because they are occupied hotel rooms. So it’s a self-guided tour, and you can wander around these houses at your own pace. Many of the hotel (sleeping) rooms were open, so we could go inside them, and each had a large bed, a large bathroom (most of them had strange things like a bidet, a multi-head massaging shower, a Jacuzzi tub, etc.), a large closet, and a kitchenette. Most of the sleeping rooms had themes, like the country room or one room that was a country lodge/log cabin (it was the best one because it had a loft above the bed where there was a kitchenette on one side of a cozy den area). On the ground floor were reception/dining rooms and a bar. It seems they host office or holiday parties or wedding receptions there. There is a wine cellar in the basement where you can have a private dinner party – it’s a cozy place. Some rooms are general gathering rooms/living rooms, like the billiard room, or a sitting room.

But the décor – picture this: Every square inch of the walls is covered by large paintings or floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with used books or other shelves or ledges covered by knick-knacks. And it’s all for sale! The butler tells you that you can buy anything in the house except the signed guitars (signed by famous musicians). So imagine going to an enormous junk store in an old house where you have to wander through many, many rooms. We didn’t buy anything – it’s all old and junky.

The catch, or the gimmick, with the place when you tour it is that there are secret passageways –30-some of them. They tell you that if you can find two or three of them, you’re doing extremely well. We found about five (we had seen another touring party go through one near the entrance). They tend to be full-length mirrors with no handles. It’s confusing enough with the several stairways that wind up and down the houses.

So there are a variety of ways they can get you in this place – to visit and stay as an out-of-town guest, to tour the place as a “museum,” to come shop at the place (they have holiday shopping events and the like), or to come for a scheduled event, like a meal, although you can go on the weekends for brunch or high tea.

So don’t be surprised if you want to come visit us in D.C. and we tell you that instead of staying with us at our house, we’re going to book you in a hotel. My plan is then to leave it at that – not tell you anything about this hotel. You’d see right away when you check in that it’s a bizarre place. You’d have a terrible time finding your room, so once you get there, you’d stay inside it for the night. Then you’d wake up for breakfast in the morning and then have to find your way to the breakfast room. And while inside, you’d just go crazy from all of the junk that is packed into every room.